a gloomy limerick and a resolve to do better in mincing onions...

/ Thursday, February 21, 2013 /

Some time ago, I have thoughtfully decided that long distance love affairs, by and large, do not work. My first official romantic relations could somehow be classified under the long-distance category -- we met through IRC, the long-hour chats turned into constant SMS pokes(thank you very much, unlimited text promos!) and like what most of my classmates back in college expected, we ended up as virtual lovers. We barely knew each other except  for those list of favorites asked in Friendster, in which I checked his profile almost every day to see if something new is up. Although we lived a city apart from each other, we never talked about doing an “eyeball”; both of us agreed to do such after I finish Nursing school. However, no post-graduation meetup materialized because about a hundred (yes I really counted because I printed them out!) Friendster correspondences later, we simply grew apart.

We decided to meet again three years later. Prior to our movie date, we did not talk about expectations nor hastily made promises. Yet, I was secretly hoping that it will work. I can vaguely recall what the movie was and what it was about. A muddled remembrance of the film and the seminal events surrounding it, not to mention the lack of exhilaration associated with meeting someone you might be romantically interested to, answered the question that we didn’t dare ask each other years ago: was it the absence of physicality that ended the relationship? Understandably, we both knew that there was nothing left  to salvage, repair and rebuild. I was a bit disappointed but for the most part,  I was relieved. I could finally move on and stop obsessing about that relationship’s what-ifs.

Two (or maybe three) heartbreaks and roughly a dozen cryptic poems  later, I am very delighted to announce that I am now with someone who is by turns easy and difficult to deal with -- let’s get real, one can unconditionally love someone today and be extremely pissed with the same person the next minute. Yet all things considered,  no one else understands me better than him, as i want to be understood, that is.

There are a lot of things to be grateful with him around -- from the way he makes something delish out of his culinary ninja skills to his anti-spoiled girlfriend moves (like refusing to buy me Krispy Kreme donuts because they’re loaded with “bad sugars”) which could piss me off for hours until a surprise hug from behind wears off any trace of fury and annoyance. Lastly, I greatly appreciate how I have learned a lot of things from him, both in the kitchen and life in general.

Although we both value the ideas of having time for one’s self  while in a relationship, we have never been apart for a long time. Yet, in a month or so, we will most likely find it impossible to see each other on a whim for the remaining months of the year.  Of course, there will be phone calls, texts, chats and emails.

Outside, a bitter cold wind blows. Maybe it’s about time i thoughtfully un-decide that long distance love affairs, by and large, do not work. The anti-spoiled girlfriend moves are actually worth it. Meanwhile, here’s to thousands of onions (i prefer the Bisaya ones, yellow in color) to be minced while he’s away.

Limerick comic by the brilliant Anne Emond.


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I usually say, in the end, okay, it’s love and it’s work — what else could there possibly be? -- Maira Kalman


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